Dick Pen

My penis is very ergonomic. I should know. I've been holding it for nearly fifty years.

I wouldn't mind having a BioErgonomic pen, even though I do a lot more typing that writing these days. Anything that's better for my body gets a thumbs-up.

But does it need to look like a johnson? And will the tip dry out if I don't put the cap back on?

Can I call it the Bic Dick?

Does it come with its own rollerballs?

Does the ink turn the paper yellowish over time?

I believe I will stop now.

Geekologie

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Give Mom The Gift of Masturbation for Mother's Day

Wow. I've heard of targeted marketing before, but the thought of giving your mother a DC-powered sex vibe is one forward-leaning way to say, "Thanks for helping me with that math homework, mom!"

Perhaps if she had owned something to relieve the stress you caused during your teen years, she wouldn't need a Magic Hand Massager now, Skippy. Ever think of that? Where the hell was Dad?

You're always a day late and a dollar short. And eat something, for God's sake. You're practically skin and bones.

Via Geekologie

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The Fart-Catching Blanket

We have too much disposable income in this country.

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Solutions to Problems That Aren't Really Problems

Via the Daily Dish:



The Greatest Generation has been replaced by the Feckless Epoch.

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Old School Handset for iPad

Almost makes it worthwhile to get one.

Via BoingBoing

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Toe Mouse

My wife thought this was wonderful, assuming it was developed for armless people. Isn't she sweet?

My friend Rich thought it was wonderful for those times when he needs both hands free to surf the Internet. Isn't he disgusting?

I'm certain that my daughter, who has an almost phobic dislike of all things feet, would be grossed out by the thought of people at her workplace sitting next to her with no shoes on.

I can go one step further to add to her freak - multiple people sharing the same toe mouse.

Eeeek!

Via Dvice

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