Sadly, this is not satire. It is, however, idiotic.
Pew pew!
Pew pew!
Showing posts with label Republicans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Republicans. Show all posts
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
Monday, 28 June 2010
It seems like only yesterday that Fred Thompson was sleepwalking his way through a doomed bid to win the Republican nomination and eventually lose to Barack Obama.
He was a true small government conservative though, with his fake pick-up truck and ginned up populism. Government needs to get out of the people's biz-ness. Government spending is out of control. Boot-strapping. Law & Order. Blech.
Now Fred is shilling for reverse mortgages that target his peers - old folks who can't afford their medicine because Republicans like Thompson keep shitting on meaningful health care reform.
Did you catch the "full government backup" angle there? Holy negative equity, Batman! Government guarantees of private loans seem, on the surface, diametrically opposed to every tenet Thompson formerly espoused on the campaign trail.
Perhaps Thompson is simply reading from the worn Republican script in which it's perfectly acceptable to ignore your belief system if you can make a bathtub of cash in the process.
Observation: Fred is really beginning to resemble E.T.
He was a true small government conservative though, with his fake pick-up truck and ginned up populism. Government needs to get out of the people's biz-ness. Government spending is out of control. Boot-strapping. Law & Order. Blech.
Now Fred is shilling for reverse mortgages that target his peers - old folks who can't afford their medicine because Republicans like Thompson keep shitting on meaningful health care reform.
Did you catch the "full government backup" angle there? Holy negative equity, Batman! Government guarantees of private loans seem, on the surface, diametrically opposed to every tenet Thompson formerly espoused on the campaign trail.
Perhaps Thompson is simply reading from the worn Republican script in which it's perfectly acceptable to ignore your belief system if you can make a bathtub of cash in the process.
Observation: Fred is really beginning to resemble E.T.
Friday, 11 June 2010
The highlight of Harry Reid's political career must be that joyous moment when Sharron Angle won the Republican primary and become Reid's competition for his Nevada Senate seat.
Expect much amusement in the months ahead as the GOP attempts to downplay Angle's positions while reconciling a future dominated by candidates such as this.
Many Americans believe the Republican party has stumbled too far to the right already. Setting up camp on the fringe of the fringe isn't likely to produce the results Michael Steele desires.
Expect much amusement in the months ahead as the GOP attempts to downplay Angle's positions while reconciling a future dominated by candidates such as this.
Many Americans believe the Republican party has stumbled too far to the right already. Setting up camp on the fringe of the fringe isn't likely to produce the results Michael Steele desires.
Friday, 4 June 2010
Is it even possible for Man Tan to open his mouth without something inexplicable tumbling out? I doubt it. Here's his latest peculiar utterance, based on comments Paul McCartney made after receiving the Gershwin Prize and performing at the White House.
McCartney: "It's a fantastic honor (for) the Gershwin family to give me this incredible award and for me to be awarded it by the Library of Congress. And in fact, after the last eight years, it's great to have a president who knows what a library is."
Boehner: "I hope he'll apologize to the American people for his conduct, which demeaned him, the White House and President Obama,"
Say what, Orangina?
I'm not the first to point out that McCartney's popularity - even considering the Wings years - is markedly highly than W's. And McCartney is part of a rather large mob that has made fun of the former president's perceived intellectual horsepower.
There's plenty going on in the country that's perfectly worthy of some outrage, real or imagined. A certain oil spill comes to mind. But Boehner has decided that a joking geriatric Liverpool native is worthy of both barrels.
Ready. Fire. AIM!
I've been an Ohio resident since 1995, and for the longest time, if asked about Boehner, my response would be, "Who?"
Good times. Good times.
As an Ohioian, let me be clear. We've seen enough. If the stooges in OH-08 want to keep the chain-smoking leatherman as their elected official, that's up to them. It's true that you get the representation you deserve. The rest of us want him to go away.
No more ludicrous, indefensible positions. No more ridiculous fundraisers where a pittance goes to party coffers after the top 2/3 is skimmed off for expenses. No more repealing health care while rolling back stimulus spending demagoguery.
John, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You make no sense, and you're so transparently impotent that you're not salvageable.
Don't go away mad. Just go away.
Image via Wikimedia Commons
Monday, 31 May 2010
Much snark has been directed toward President Obama for his decision to spend this Memorial Day weekend in Chicago rather than in Washington. Right-wing hysteria generally attributes this to Obama's rocky relationship with the military and overall disdain for the troops. After all, every president honors the fallen in-person at Arlington National Cemetery, right?
Via firedoglake, not so much:
The critics were either ignorant of the facts or they failed to mention the 2007 Veterans Day ceremony when Vice President Dick Cheney spoke while President George W. Bush observed the holiday in Texas.
Vice President Dan Quayle laid the wreath at Arlington on Memorial Day, 1992. I recall covering President George H.W. Bush, a distinguished World War II vet, as he marked the holiday that year at his favorite vacation spot, Kennebunkport, Maine, where he spoke to a veterans group.
Back in 1983, a Defense Department official laid the Memorial Day wreath at Arlington when Ronald Reagan was at a G-7 Summit meeting in Williamsburg, Virginia.
Republicans never let the facts stand between them and a good faux outrage.
Friday, 28 May 2010
It's like a two-headed coin, where both sides are stupid.
Boys, I'm tellin' ya. You're gonna want more cowbell.
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Republicans have a point. When I was in a foxhole, bullets whizzing overhead, in moments when I wasn't contemplating certain death, I had an overwhelming urge to hump the dogface ass-deep in the mud next to me. And I'm not even gay.
Imagine how difficult it would be for a homo who couldn't control his craven desires.
Fucktards.
Imagine how difficult it would be for a homo who couldn't control his craven desires.
Fucktards.
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Put another way, Republicans caused the damned problem, so it's only fair that they harangue the other guys until such time as draconian measures are taken to reintroduce financial restraint and fill the budget coffers, which the GOP can use to beat Democrats over the head while chorusing about "tax and spend" liberals.
Oops! What are these little things over here? Pesky facts?
Federal, state and local taxes — including income, property, sales and other taxes — consumed 9.2% of all personal income in 2009, the lowest rate since 1950, the Bureau of Economic Analysis reports. That rate is far below the historic average of 12% for the last half-century. The overall tax burden hit bottom in December at 8.8.% of income before rising slightly in the first three months of 2010.Curses. Right-wing boneheads foiled again!
“The idea that taxes are high right now is pretty much nuts,” says Michael Ettlinger, head of economic policy at the liberal Center for American Progress.
Via Balloon Juice
Image via Wikimedia Commons
Wednesday, 28 April 2010
Regardless, Senate republicans have folded like a cheap suitcase. I wouldn't be surprised if the real reason turned out to be they were concerned that the public would see the stains on their cots, given they are a bunch of bedwetters.
Thursday, 22 April 2010
Via Daily Kos, a newsletter distributed by the Medina County Republican Executive Committee contains cave man reasoning for defeating the female incumbent, Betty Sutton.
I guess if you're not a black, lesbian baby killer, the GOP needs to play the June Cleaver card. Oh, how they wish it was still 1952.
I'm a little worried about the Beaver.
I guess if you're not a black, lesbian baby killer, the GOP needs to play the June Cleaver card. Oh, how they wish it was still 1952.
I'm a little worried about the Beaver.
Wednesday, 14 April 2010
The Onion:
If I hadn't mentioned up front that it was from The Onion, you might have thought, "Hey, that sounds about right."
Citing a mutually shared vision of health care in America, congressional Republicans and the deadly bone-marrow cancer leukemia announced a joint effort Wednesday to repeal the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, the historic new bill that extends health benefits to 32 million Americans nationwide.
"Republicans have no greater ally in this fight than leukemia," said Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC), who was flanked by Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH), and the abnormal increase in white blood cells. "Denying insurance to Americans with preexisting conditions and ensuring that low-income Americans stand no chance of receiving quality health care are just a few of the core beliefs that the GOP and leukemia share." ...
If I hadn't mentioned up front that it was from The Onion, you might have thought, "Hey, that sounds about right."
Thursday, 8 April 2010
Paul Krugman has an interesting take on how Republicans just can't imagine that the other party actually has the best interest of the populace in mind when it comes to policy:
I think these commentaries are revealing of two things. One is the closing of the conservative mind. I’d like to think that I have a reasonably good understanding of conservative economic doctrine and conservative views on health care; I disagree, but I do know what they have been saying in recent years. Barone and Steele, by contrast, act as if utterly unaware of what people like me, or the president, have been saying and writing: no idea that standard textbook economics says that you should sustain government spending in a recession, no idea that liberals have been trying to get universal health insurance for three generations.
The other thing is the way incomprehension becomes demonization. Because conservatives don’t understand at all what the other side believes, everything becomes a conspiracy theory: Obama must be indulging his grotesque ambition, because who could possibly believe that doing what he did is a good idea?
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